This winter, one of the last in-person classes of my college career was a course on Buddhist Meditation Theory. I’ve always had an interest in meditation and was excited to learn more about Buddhism, but I mostly signed up for this class because it seemed like a nice complement (i.e. “layup”) to the computer science course and the major seminar I planned on taking. The course description advertised in-class practice meditation sessions, which I thought would be perfect for the stress that typically comes along with the squash season. And, as an added bonus, the professor was a former Calvin Klein model…
Little did I know that this would be the most influential and meaningful class I would take during my time at Dartmouth. Not only did I learn all about the framework of Buddhist meditation, the differences between traditional practice and the modern Mindfulness movement, but I also learned about myself in a way I hadn’t before in an academic setting. I was given the time and space, a luxury in a high-paced environment like Dartmouth, to closely analyze my outlook and perspective on life and my worldview.
I realized how easy it is to fall into and get stuck in the pattern of just going through the motions of life absentmindedly. Starting as young children, we’re fed into a system that bases self-worth on superficial, arbitrary, societally constructed values and measures success on a monetary scale rather than by happiness and overall well-being.
One night around the midpoint of the winter term, I was doing a reading for class which included a Buddhist teaching that says to go to bed every night accepting the fact that you might not wake up in the morning. I remember putting my book down, sitting very still in my desk chair, and just letting that sink in. I had many moments similar to this one throughout the term where, for lack of a better way to describe it, things just hit different. I did not sleep that night. With my head on my pillow, I stared at the ceiling, deep in thought, “How will I ever be able to sleep again?”
As someone who often gets anxious about the unknown, I’ve found that Buddhism can alleviate this existential suffering. I’ve come to realize that it’s not so much about what I do next in life, or even what I do when I wake up tomorrow, it’s more about how I’m living my life. Every day, I want to live a happy, fulfilling life that is not tied to an ego, or a notion of self-importance. For me, living a life with love and compassion for others, being caring, and generous with my time, energy, and resources is more important than how much money I make at whatever jobs I have along the way.
“Wherever you go, there you are.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn
“I had spent far too long doing things that were reflections of how I and others thought I should act, but were not expressions of who I truly was. The goal is to live increasingly in the present and, in this present to become fully and completely who we are, the person that is our fate to become, the person already written in our hearts of hearts.”
“Indestructible Truth” Reginald Ray
No matter where I find myself, I want to be more aware and paying attention to the world, on purpose, non-judgmentally, in the present moment. The learning I did throughout the course and the meditation practice I have continued to develop since, has helped confirm my beliefs that there is a deeper life purpose and understanding to reach.
The sad state of the world today exemplifies the urgency of living in the present as so much is unknown and keeps changing. We are constantly faced with reminders of the impermanence and fragility of life, so why do we often overlook the importance of examining how we are living it.
“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly live.”
Dalai Lama
ABLAZ 